Silent All These Years
by Liberty Ford
Summary: **Female slash** Hermione's going crazy. She can't cope without Ginny and neather can the little voices inside her head...


Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joanne Rowling. Expect Paige who's mine.

Silent all these years 

**_By Cornflake Girl_**

Paige looked up at her mother from the table and giggled in her highchair. Hermione Granger sighed as Paige's breakfast was once again thrown at the wall.

"What is it with you and that?" she asked her daughter, but soon after she smiled. _How could anyone be angry with such a sweet and pretty child?_ "Innocent…" she whispered as a tear fell down her cheek silently. 

Hermione wiped her face quickly and picked up her daughters breakfast with a cleaning spell. Paige watched her mother contently. Anger seemed to flash in the child's eyes, but a split second later it was gone. Hermione blinked. Even if anger did flash in her eyes… could it actually be seen? 

"Pull yourself together Hermione!" she said to herself. "Nothing's wrong with Paige… and Ginny… she's gone… you have to move on!" 

_No you don't… why don't you just die, Hermione? You have no use here anyway._

"Maybe… I could drown in Paige's breakfast…"

I'm sure you can be more imaginative that that! Slit wrists… pills… go to Ginny's house and hang your self on her doorstep! That would be fun! Of course, you know she doesn't care about you so she'd probably laugh at your hanging body…and your daughter… kill her too… that would really end it well!

"She cares…"

Yeah right… keep telling your self that! You screwed around with some guy! You had a baby! Don't tell me she knocked you up because that would be a bloody miracle!

"I…"

            The voice inside Hermione's head seemed to stop as if mocking her. She could picture it rolling its eyes; waiting for her to give an explanation as to why she'd gotten pregnant.

"What have I done to deserve this?" Hermione wailed. She clutched the child's bowl in her hand tighter and tighter. "You!" she half screamed half forced out.

Paige looked up at her mother gurgling away and smiling.

"You… did this your evil… you came out of me but I don't know how you got in there!" 

            There was a loud smash as the plastic bowl broke in Hermione's hand. "Damn and blast it…" She screamed, Paige went silent and shook in her highchair.

Blood trickled down her hand and dripped onto the kitchen floor. The plastic bowl had cut right through her palm. She pulled the piece of plastic out and healed it with a spell. She then turned to her daughter; picking her up she bounced her gently on her hip. "Shhh… mummy loves you… shh…" Hermione bounced her harder but it didn't help. "Quiet… Paige… shh… QUIET!!!"

            You've truly lost it Hermione… But I think what you did was for the best. Look at your daughter, Hermione… You did that to her, but tell them. She was evil… you know it's true!

"Yes! Evil… bad girl. She was such a bad girl!"

Look at her then… her body… much better dead, eh, Hermione?

Hermione nodded as she stared at the body of her own child. A tear slipped down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.

Don't cry… she was evil!

"Yes... evil child… Voldemort's child… evil child…" Hermione sunk to the floor next to Paige's still, cold body and took her into her arms. Cradling her she rocked back and forth violently. "Baby… couldn't keep baby alive…"

Hermione Granger sat in the corner or a small white room. A doll was clutched in her grasp and she rocked back and forth violently in the corner. Her eyes fixed and open, her knuckles white and her lips were cracked and dry.      

"How is she?" asked Ginny to a tall dark man in a white cloak. "Has she spoken at all?"

"No… she's the same as yesterday Miss Weasley, I'm so sorry." He placed his hand on her shoulder and looked through the glass at the rocking Hermione. "She seems to be living what might have been inside her head… I'm not sure how I can explain it better… Hermione is… denying her daughters death and living the life she might have had…"

Sirius Black walked up to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Harry followed close behind.

"Will she…" Ginny swallowed a cry and turned to the doctor again. "Will she ever get better?"

"…I wish I could say… it's been three months since you daughter died and there's been no improvement."

"She blames herself!" Ginny wailed dramatically. "If only I'd have forgiven her… realised sooner that she didn't do it willingly."

"The deatheaters?" asked the doctor on St Mungos.

Ginny nodded. "She didn't tell me they raped her. She told me she'd… had sex with a man."

"You mustn't blame yourself… Hermione does… it's not… helpful." Sirius said, he looked stuck for words. "It wasn't your fault, Ginny. The baby dying wasn't your fault no more than it was Hermione's."

"She's dead on the inside isn't she? Hermione's gone. All I have now is a broken girl… a silent girl, but I love her…"

The End


End file.
